I’m so excited to answer your questions on ‘Sex, Relationship & Marital Issues’. To get your question answered on this blog, write to me using the hashtag #AskToun!
Question 1 : I am lost!
“Hi Toun, I’m 22 years old and had a rough life growing up. Most of my life decision, I had to make on my own because I never lived with my parents. I had a baby out of wedlock at 19 and I love my son very much. But my son’s father denied responsibility, which left me heartbroken for years.
After a period of 4 years, my son’s father and I started communicating again. He finally admitted that he was the father, but refused to take responsibility.
My point is this, after all the drama with my son’s father; I’m finding it hard to love again. I’ve gotten over my son’s father, but whenever I find myself in a relationship, as time goes on, I feel lost in the relationship.
I am a Christian, and a student in my ND and I work at the same time.
What do I do?”
Lesson 1 from Toun Ayoola:
“Let me start by admiring your courage to carry that baby without aborting him.
This shows that you are a strong woman because a lot of women in your shoes would have done otherwise.
Like you know your son is a gift to you from God, so he is not a mistake, whether his father decides to be in his life or not, God will give you the strength to take care of him.
If the father decides to take responsibility let him, if he decides not to, also let him be.
Work hard and concentrate on giving your son the best and making the best out of your life so you don’t have to depend on anybody apart from God.
You need to first of all let go of all the hurt and pain.
Let go and let God, the only person that can heal you is God.
I would like you to do the following:
- Write down all your fears, pain hurts and disappointments on a piece of paper.
- Make peace with your past, forgive yourself.
- Then let go by burning this piece of paper.
I hope you know that you are the best and you deserve the best?
Please never settle for less than the best, give yourself time to heal before starting a new relationship and when you do, make sure you have peace of mind and make sure you seek God’s face about it.
When in a relationship, if you have Jesus as your anchor, you won’t feel lost anymore because you have surrendered all to him.
I’d like to hear from you soon, feel free to contact me anytime you need my help or you need someone to talk to.
That’s it for this episode of Ask Toun Anything. You can also drop your thoughts, comments and advice below. Feel free to send in your burning questions through our contact form.